Is my wife initiating an affair?

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Is my wife initiating an affair?

Post by cobrakai »

First time posting here and looking for advice and unbiased views. Quite a long story so will try to be as brief as possible.

January 2021 I was working away from home training for my new job and coming home at weekends. My wife started to watch a show on Netflix where some of the couples were indulging in threesomes. She said she found this a turn on and suggested that it should be something we could maybe try. Me, her and another female. I wasn't too keen in the idea but said I'd think about it. We never really discussed this in great detail as unfortunately she became poorly with depression and seizures from her epilepsy so was spending time in and out of hospital.

When she became better we never raised the possibility of a threesome again until she mentioned that she'd spoken to her friend about sleeping with me and her watching. I thought this to be quite strange as my wife has always been quite the possessive and jealous type. She asked if I'd like to and again I said I'd think about it. One night I came home from work and she told me she had sent a dick pic to her friend on snapchat. I was quite surprised that she had done this and quite mortified and slightly embarrassed. The thing that got me thinking was that her friend asked of it was a picture of me. My wife told me this.

As I thought more about what her friend had said I started to wonder why she would query if it was me. I knew my wife was talking a lot on snapchat with my 'best friend' as she would tell me. This started to make me feel really paranoid as I started to notice her presence on there in the early hours and late at night. Not letting her phone out of her sight which was unusual behaviour for her. This continued for a number of months and she kept pushing at the possibility of me and her friend getting it on. I kept saying I didn't feel like it. She then said about maybe joining a swinging club or maybe explore the possibility of having an open relationship. I just couldn't help but think that she was urging me to sleep with someone else so she could use it as an excuse to get with my friend.

There has been a history between them from 2015 when I found out they were sharing intimate chat and some images. She insisted it was . on her part and agreed that it would stop. We managed to rebuild a friendship with him and his wife a number of years later.

Anyway in October this year my wife and her friend had a fall out over a trivial matter about them meeting up for a meal and her friend wanted to bring another friend along. My wife got really upset at this and decided not to meet. My wife tried to rekindle their friendship and they got into an argument via whatsapp whilst I was at work. I only knew of this when my wife sent me a number of messages pleading for me to call her when I got a chance. I thought this was an emergency so called her back. All she wanted was to tell me about her argument and asked me to block her friend on all channels as she's worried that she may stir things up.

A month later in early November my curiosity got the better of me and my gut instincts were telling me that I should talk to her friend. Basically her friend confirmed what I was thinking. She told me that my wife only wanted to sleep with her so it could be used against me in the future so she could go with him, that when we've stayed over they've both been downstairs whilst me and his wife were still sleeping and touched each other. She said my wife didn't love me anymore and loved him and even spoke to him about whether they could work. He said no but he would like to have a physical relationship to which she apparently got excited about.

I challenged my wife about how I was feeling, what her old friend had said and also how it looks. She denied it but I'm struggling to believe her. We've not had much opportunity to discuss as this has bought her depression and seizures back.

I'm not sure what to do.

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