Hello. I’m new, but couldn’t find where to post new member stuff, so pls let me know if this isn’t allowed until I introduce myself. Also fair warning this is a longgg post.
Firstly let me just say how thrilled I am to find a spot for women on the internet that isn’t Reddit. I can’t seem to keep an account there. I was never mean or anything, didn’t advocate for bad things. Wasn’t any kind of phobic or intolerant. But I did call out an admin of a sub who wound up being permabanned very publicly because they turned out to be a pedophilic felon. Since then, they’ve tracked my IP addresses and emails somehow even in two different countries and I can’t keep an account for more than a few hours.
That’s not even what this gripe is about lol, I just wanted to express my gratitude for an active women’s message board! Ok. Onto the real gripe.
I can’t seem to keep a job without being targeted by coworkers. Now I know what some may be thinking. “If this is a common occurrence at every job, it’s probably something you’re doing wrong.”
Well, it’s not that. Yes, I made some mistakes in this new job I’ve only had for five months. But it happened at my previous job that I left for this one (pays me literally double), too. And that’s because they only gave me two weeks of training before throwing me to the wolves. I recall when I was younger and starting at a new corporation that they used to have hired trainers and specific rooms for new employees to be trained on a myriad of things they’ll be doing in their new roles.
That doesn’t seem to exist anymore. Everything is two weeks on the job training, then it’s Sparta.
Add to that, almost every single damn time, there will be someone (unfortunately have to say it’s more often than not a woman, but I have been driven out of companies by sexist men as well) who decides upon the first meet that they do not like me, and will make my work life a living hell. I might also add it’s always people who make way more mistakes than I do, act like they own the entire company, constantly leave early, and constantly come in late.
My job before this one, it was my actual boss. She was extremely narcissistic and fresh out of business school. She had me doing project management work under the guise of administration because she tacked on “collection calls” to my already growing list of duties. I was belittled many times, once in front of my colleagues at 8am on the dot one day, and given a talk. This was four weeks after I started the position which was described as a promotion, and full well knowing the guy who trained me only planned to stay those last two weeks, and before I could even sit at my new desk, he was gone. I wasn’t helped. Just quizzed and talked down to before being moved back to reception. And that was an existential crisis for me because here I was at 34 thinking I’ll never be cut out for more than customer service. It felt like she had been out to ruin me.
Cut to my nervous breakdown at work, and shortly thereafter being approached by a home builder to apply for a position that paid me double what I was making as this “project manager” (forgot to mention they hired someone to replace the guy that trained me as a project manager, no admin tasks or admin title, making what a PM typically makes… while I was trying to manage all key account plus collections and other admin duties). So I got through the grueling interview process for the new company, got the new job, and bailed. I was later told they were having more staffing issues and difficulty replacing me. Oh well!
Ok so I started this new job in February. It was going pretty well. I was told up until a couple weeks ago that I was doing fantastic, and was apparently getting lots of compliments from others in the dept. I made small errors here and there after the two weeks of basic training I received from someone who had only been there for a year, but other than that it seemed I was doing well for a newbie. I’d even talk to a lady on the team who honestly feels like an auntie to me, and she told me I was doing much better than most new folks, and that she had told this to our managers.
Well. There’s this “specialist”, we’ll call her Alice. I don’t know wtf crawled into this girl’s butt, but she never liked me. From the first moment I met her, I felt a weird vibe. On my first day while my manager was walking me around the office, Alice ran into us and started talking to her (not making eye contact with me) for a literal hour. I understand they were catching up but this was excessive. My manager introduced me to this chick, and she gave a very underwhelming hello, followed by telling me about how she was about to head off to grad school in London.
….. Ok?? Lol. I did not ask for this info but I was like “oh wow that’s awesome congrats!” She’s about to leave but it seems like an eternity, because of how much damage she’s caused me in the five short months I’ve been there. My “auntie” told me it most likely has everything to do with her talkin sh behind my back, to the other specialists and their director. I didn’t want to believe it, but this is a girl who leaves me on read, doesn’t answer my questions, when she does it’s very half assed one word answers that do not help, CC’ing my boss in every F’ing email making it look like I dropped the ball on things I hadn’t even been made aware of yet, and just being rude to me in the few meetings we had together. For instance, my intro Teams meeting to the specialists. She flirted with the guy I was replacing the whole time and said maybe two words to me.
I made one sort of bad error last week, and suddenly, I was having a chat with my manager and her boss about how I’m not “at the level they would expect for someone at five months”. I know there’s someone struggling more than I am too so this was a shock to me. I was told it takes a good six months, sometimes longer, to really start understanding the flow. And they were correct. I’m still learning and asking for more trainings. But for some reason this one mistake resulted in them going back on their compliments given to me just two weeks prior.
Alice also managed to get the other specialists to hate me because I haven’t received anything from them all last week and this week. That tells me they’ve been plotting something for a minute and had already communicated to send emails elsewhere. I was told I would need to work on smaller tasks and had all the hubs I worked on taken away from me until further notice. Over one, maybe two mistakes that weren’t exactly uncommon. I was told by my “auntie” that “everybody’s made that mistake and never did it again afterward”. Yes I am still with the company and very grateful, but it’s extremely humiliating and I feel I’ve really let my boss down (bonus: that person is my friend outside of work who got me in… so I’m feeling like double extra poop this week).
What the flying hell did I do to these women? The other time it was a man, when I was younger, who somehow got wind of me being out for a procedure that he wasn’t supposed to even know about. I’ll give a hint. He asked me upon my return, “so do they do it by pill, or…?” The “zero retaliation” policy didn’t work for me so I left.
I can’t leave the job I’m at now and the evil one is about to leave (no surprise she stuck around long enough to collect her bonus that she doesn’t deserve for the amount of very detrimental mistakes she makes that I’ve had to clean up as a newbie multiple times).
Lots of side notes in this and I know it’s very long. I’m just wondering wtf is wrong with me and wtf is wrong with them? I haven’t done anything but try to work. I haven’t even been there long enough to be looked at as any kind of threat and she was planning on leaving anyway!! Wtf is the point of all of this??
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Argue discuss row and fight but stay friends...
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